So you can put the clouds up in your own little way, but the sun is gonna come up the very next day, it's gonna be so bright it's gonna blow you away and once it's over your head will never be the same.

 

Hey guys, I hope you're all fine. Spring's finally there - it's pretty risky, though, to wear short skirts or tank tops already, as the weather changes all the time. Last weekend was perfect, not only because of the weather. I spent some beautiful hours in the park (it was so lovely! There were petals flying through the air and daisies and everything was so summer-esque.) with my boyfriend. I'm quite sad it's school again, but we' gonna have spring break in two weeks. And this week doesn't really count as a proper week of school - I'll only have a few lessons, as the theater group in my school keeps me busy. We are going to premiere on Thursday! I'm already so exited and I hope everything will work. I'll tell you about it next post.

Well, although school's quite okay (for I don't spend as much time there as usual), it really bores me. It bores me to death. I should probably listen and pay attention as we'll write quite a lot of tests soon, but I can't. I always carry "The Great Gatsby" with me, and when I can't bear the boredom any longer, I read a few pages. If you haven't read it or at least watched the movie, DO. Just do it. It's by far the best-written book I have ever read, and the characters are so incredibly amazing. One sentence in it sums up my feelings lately pretty nice, by the way: “And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.” The whole book is so beautiful and I literally can't wait to read it all over again.
Back to the topic: Inspired by how boring school is, I decided to try to go for a bored-schoolgirl-look. I love the jumper! It's my sister's, she wears it as a pyjama which I just don't understand, it's way too cool for this! The shirt (you only see the collar) is mine, I believe it was from H&M about two years ago, maybe more. The skirt, which I totally overwear is from Primark, the knee socks are thrifted and the shoes are from Canada, also they are too small and almost fall apart. I made the flower crown by myself.

Now to something completely different. It was my birthday on the 19th of March! Sweet sixteen! I've been longing for finally being sixteen, as you're allowed to go out (to parties) at this age in Germany. I and a friend of mine, whose birthday was two days before mine, threw a party with a lot of nice people and lots and lots of cake. There were brownies, cupcakes and even a rainbow cake! We had an awesome evening/night.

I hope I didn't bore you as much as school bores me, and I hope you'll have a great day.

Lots of love,

Mary

Across the clouds I see my shadow fly out of the corner of my watering eye, a dream unthreatened by the morning light could blow this soul right through the roof of the night.

Hey babes! I bet you're all so tired of my apologies for the lack of posting in the past few months (I can't believe it has been months!), so I won't apologize anymore. I just will blog whenever I have some time, or even when I don't. Blogging was such a big part of me and I don't want that part to get lost somewhere in the journey of growing up. I won't write anything like "I promise to blog again soon" because I feel like in my mind it always changes into "Naw you don't have time to blog.". Anyways, here I am, back in the awesome, amazingly dangerous thing they call the world wide web. I feel like I felt when David Bowie published a new Album last year - I feel like Major Tom's back, but not as a junkie but as a  hero.
This is also my first post ever with a 8tracks playlist included. Usually, I just listen to all kinds of 8tracks mixes but I never made one by myself. This one's pretty short, but it includes a few of the best songs ever written. I'm especially in love with the Imgagine Cover and Learning to fly by Pink Floyd.

http://8tracks.com/mary-the-freak/born-in-the-wrong-decade

( I just couldn't figure out how to put the widget in here so at last the link!)
Okay, as this was originally meant to be a fashion blog, I'll talk about my outfit. Eh, sorry for the cat face. My face looked so horrible in all those pictures, my skin looked like I will throw up the next second and my expression was so awkward, haha! Anyways, I discovered those shoes in the basement yesterday - I completely forgot about them. The dress is handmade, it's dark green velvet and I love it. The blouse is thrifted, I love the cute lace collar! And the button is Lindsay Weir from Freaks and Geeks, you can buy it in my  Etsy. However, most important, is what I'm not wearing. Tights! It's getting spring! It's so warm here, I literally spent the whole afternoon outside with my best friend which was so lovely and relaxing. Finally feeling the hot sun on your skin again is such a relief and like medicine for my soul. It's amazing how the sun can make you happy just by being there! I hope it's going to be warm enough soon to wear all my clothes and shorts again.

In other news: I read the Virgin Suicides! I can't even tell you how awesome it is. It's one of the best books I've ever read, if not the best. The language is so precise and dreamy, and the story is so tragic, it always makes me cry. I re-watched the movie, too, and it was even better than the first time I watched it, as I noticed so many more details. If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it. It's so dreamy and touching.

Inspired by the book, I made some badges which I sell on my Etsy. There's also a super cool Frida Brooch, you can purchase them here -->Mary the Freak on Etsy

Now to something completely different: In the comment section, someone told me having dreadlocks as a white girl or calling my hair dreadlocks is cultural appropriation. I've talked with some internet friends about it, we had a great discussion. I've come to this conclusion:

First of all, I've educated myself about the topic and I still don't regret having dreadlocks. The term "Dreadlocks" originates from the matted hair black slaves brought from africa had when they arrived in the U.S. where the whites called their hair "dreadful". The blacks decided to leave her hair like that to protest in a quite silent way, obviously, against the white imperialism and capitalism. Now, if these things are their reasons, is there any reason just because I'm white I should agree with imperialism and capitalism? No. I don't. I believe that just because I'm white, I can still agree with the opinion of the first dreadheads. Why should that be wrong? I also think claiming that "Whites should not have dreads" is ridiculous. There's not such a thing as a white or a black hairstyle, neither should there be one. So I'm a white girl with dreads and I don't regret it and I'm utterly happy with my hair.  Just to explain my choice to you, the last thing I want is to seem ignorant.

Okay, it felt awesome to finally write a post again. I'm actually smiling right now, not even kidding, haha. 

I hope you still read my blog and still like my posts, dear followers. You're the backbone of this project and I wanna thank you SO MUCH for supporting me and still reading this post although this blog seemed to go offline (what a horrible thought!)

Lots of love,

Mary

Her mother smokes diamonds and she sleeps out in the car. Yeah, but she remembers Chicago, the musicians and guitars and grass by the lake and people who laugh'd and made her poor heart ache.

sorry for the awful quality!

Hey folks! I kinda messed up my resolution to blog more often, but at least I wrote a bigger post today. 

I wore this to school today, I was in the mood to dress up today. But actually wearing it felt slightly weird. I've been wearing mostly super-large men shirts, comfy dresses and huge jackets and wearing something tight again felt kinda weird. I had the constant urge to just put on some sack or something, but I was in school so it was impossible. I still think it looks quite nice, though, haha! I like how different styles are mixed here. I love the contrast of the vein tights combined with something floral. I am wearing a dress from Primark which I love but barely wear (it's thight, duh.) and a thrifted embroidered cardigan. AND MOST IMPORTANT GUYS LOOK AT MY HEAR THESE ARE DREADS AND THEY ARE MINE! It's their 3-months-and-2-days birthday today. I love them, and I loved doing something crazy with my hair. But there are some cons, too. I paid a lot of money to get them, but the person who made them didn't do it well. There are a lot of waves and loops and basically, I have to repair them constantly. My hair grows fast, so I have roots already which need to mat (that sounds gross, but it isn't!). I'm working on them all the time, but dreadlocks get nicer with time, so I'll trust on that. Besides that, I love them. I can do so many awesome hairdo's with them. I braid it often, or knot it, or just wrap that turban-thing around it. DREADS ARE AWESOME.

 my favorite bead!

I had some time this weekend to catch up with the posts of the blogs I follow. It was a lot of fun to see those people again, you know? Especially Eva from Style Wandering.
Eva kinda drives me crazy, but in a good way. Her writing really makes me think a lot, about everything, and I wish I could just get my thoughts into words, but I guess that won't work. My mind's just like a adventourous playground and I'm sitting on a swing of confusion, swinging back into the daily life and forth into the actual life. I just wish I had more time to think and to create, more time to read because I feel almost unhealthy without art.
I'm also getting over that identity-crisis thing I mentioned. I just stopped beating myself up because of it, if you will. I don't worry about what others think of me anymore  - and I know, you probably think I never did. But that's not true, and it's hard to admit. I never cared, and never will care about what others think of me. Though, I wanted to provoke and seem like an individual and be individual and myself, above all. It sounds so stupid, thinking of it now, but it never really came to my mind that I have been an individual since I was born and no one is going to change this. Everyone's an individual, even if he/she dresses mainstream, listens to charts and wants to be a secretary later. I guess, I was just stuck in that mad point of view, but slowly, ever so slightly, starting to be more than a girl rebelling with fashion.  I still listen to different music than most people, I still don't care about strange looks, I still want to try everything out, I still dress weird (don't worry, dear followers of a fashion blog!), but I stopped thinking about it that much, in a way. I'm growing into myself, I guess. I do what I want, whether it's normal or provoking (most of the time it's unconventional, that's just the way it goes, haha).
Trying to find yourself is something which misleads you often. Don't get me wrong. I do want you guys to try out stuff, finding out what you like an dislike, but don't beat yourself up. You will never find yourself, like saying "That's my identity forever, deal with it" because you'll never be able to define yourself rationally, and that's okay! You're an ever-changing being. It's impossible to define yourself forever, "like a toaster or something" (to quote My so-called life). I'm trying to enjoy the journey without worrying if there's even an aim, some sort of ultimate cognition. The journey is the destination. What I'm wearing and what I like is only a part of who I am at the moment, obviously.
I think self expression and identity are very different. I think self expression is incredible, because it is the ability to express parts of you through thousands of mediums and acts, and as these parts of you change, the way you express them can too, and to me, that seems simple and beautiful.
- Eva from Style wandering
Yeah, shut up, stupid me, you'll never put it into words as Eva does.

Wow okay, you deserve an oscar or something if you were in school today and still had the nerves to read that.

Lots of love, my dear readers,

Mary (takes a bow)

I'm leaving everything behind except my mind and my valentine if I got time, gonna go to some redneck town where they hold class in the middle of the night. If my school had burned to the ground, I would've gotten smarter sooner and you know that's right!

Life's confusing lately. My world view is slightly upset, as is everything in my mind. It's like a million of songs all played at the same time in my head, it's crazy. It's partly because of missing being creative. Not being able to make art drives me crazy. I feel like a completely different person without my creativity which seems to disappear covered up by the immense amount of work I have to do. Also Flower put something in words which I couldn't:
It's almost impossible for me to blog in the way I used to because my perception of the world has altered so drastically in the last few months and I'm not really the same person I used to be, something which seems, by turns, logical and confusing. 
This sums up everything in a great way. It's really weird. 

Jesus, I sound way to depressive here. I'm sorry  - originally this was meant to be a fashion blog, now it's just, like, the life of a teen who struggles with identity. 

OKAY ENOUGH PHILOSOPHICAL TALK. 

Actually, if I don't think too much (I usually don't because of the lack of time, as sad as it sounds), life's okay. I have absolutely NO motivation concerning school, but I'm planning my summer and I sleep a lot. I also listen to a lot of awesome music (8tracks is becoming my best friend).

I'm wearing a dress I bought a few weeks ago, it's from Primark and has the cutest daisy print ever! It's also really cozy. The giant shirt is from a fleamarket, or from the thrift shop, I guess? I have no idea. Anyways, the overknees were given to me by my mother, and the shoes are from Canada. They used to be white, can you even believe that? I compared them to a brand-new pair of white chucks recently and it was like, night and day, haha.

Well, I have some good news for all of you lovely followers! Here's my late new-year-resolution:

To blog at least 4 times a month. Let's see how it works.

Love,

Mary

I'm sure there's planets wrapped up with you, I've seen them kissing out in the hallway. Once in a while, the zebras run to the spaceman and his gun, in the spider's web!

Finally finding a few hours for blogging makes me really happy after Christmas. I completely forgot what it's like to lay in my bed and do something that's actually fun. But now, having holidays, life's quite great. Since it's not snowing or really cold outside, it doesn't feel like winter at all, but I can at least pretend it's summer by hearing all the songs that I listened to when I had summer break. I'm sick of that winter-not-really-winter and long for the summer sun. But as long as I can stay inside and only leave the house when it's dark already, everything's nice! I just need some records. I also fangirl about Dr. Frank-n-Furter a lot. And about Tavi - I watched the video of her speaking in Melbourne and I felt like she saved my life again. We should make a Salvation mountain for Tavi and Rookie, y'guys. Only, like, planet-size with treehouses where we could all live happily ever after.
Okay now some ~real fashion talk~. I am wearing a few new things. The gigantic and wooly and monster-y sweater was a gift by my mother. The buttons are either gifted or handmade, and the shirt is thrifted. The purple velvet dress underneath is from my childhood. And the fishnet socks which I totally overwear are from Spain. But that's not as important as the shoes! Aren't they super amazing? My boyfriend gave them to me for Christmas and I kinda freaked out a bit about how perfect they are. They remind me of astronauts and David Bowie, so I really feel like Major Tom now (which is clearly awesome). I think they also look kinda like rocket boots, so it feels like this:

Here's a closer look:

They're holographic Doc Martens, basically! I have like a thousand little rainbows on my shoes isn'tthatcute?! I'm gonna wear these really often  always. 

I hope you are all fine! I missed blogging.

Lots of love!

Mary